I think I can speak for most people who struggle with chronic illness when I say that the mental state it brings you into is the worst part. I can handle constant pain in my body, but when my mind fails me I struggle the most. In the past when life would start to get hard I would loose control of my mind and I would face constant attacks on what I knew to be true. I would constantly hear, “How is God all he says he is if he is putting you through this.” I would be faced with great doubt which would cause me to distance from God sometimes without me realizing it. Overtime my heart started believing what my mind was telling me and I lost sight of who God was. I didn’t know what I believed in anymore because who I wanted God to be was not aligning with my own situation. Once I realized what was happening to my once strong faith, I spent countless hours studying the Bible and writing out in a journal about who I knew God to be to prepare for the attacks.
I remember six months ago when my flare up started and I was in the hospital laying in the bed thinking, if my mind is overtaken again I do not think I will be able to make it through. I had always prayed for physical healing for myself but at that time I instead prayed that God would protect my mind from words of the devil. As I felt the pain worsen over the next months I dealt with fear of my mental state worsening. While I have days where my mind deals with doubts and anxiety, overall God has answered my prayer for the protection over my mind. And I encourage you to pray this prayer over your own mind as well!
-𝓜𝓪𝓬𝔂